If you have your friends fawning over your relationship and saying it’s perfect, yet you feel unhappy and don’t know why, these may be the reasons behind it.
Ever since we were little, we have day dreamed about the day we would find Mr. Right. We’ve fantasized about what he looks like, how tall he is, how he treats us and even our inevitable wedding.
But, what happens when you think Mr. Right has come around and you feel like Ms. Wrong? When other people are approaching you and saying how jealous they are of your relationship and you just can’t seem to see it through their eyes, something is wrong.
There are a lot of reasons why someone might not be as happy in their relationship as they should be. Here’s why you may be feeling a bit out of place in a seemingly perfect relationship.
1. You only want it because it’s expected
Sometimes, you start dating someone because he seems so perfect that your friends tell you that you’d be crazy if you turned him down. This might be okay for a while since everything is new and fun, but after that initial honeymoon phase wears off, you’re stuck with someone who looks better to your friends than he does to you.
A lot of people only date someone because it’s expected of them. Has your family every pushed for a relationship because they knew the parents of the other person and it just seemed inevitable? You’ll only end up unhappy if you’re with someone out of expectation.
2. Romantic comedies have ruined you
Let’s be real: women watch far too many romantic comedies that set the expectation for how a man should treat a woman. We get so swept up in the momentum of love and life within the movies that we try to recreate those fantasies on our own.
The truth is that if you do this, you’re setting yourself up to be unhappy. Nobody is going to be as perfect as those boyfriends in the movies, and if you expect too much from your significant other, you’ll only be disappointed.
3. You don’t actually desire his qualities
Being with someone who is smart, reads and cooks might seem like the ultimate combination (if that’s what you’re into), but you might only want those qualities on paper and not actually in a person.
A lot of women have certain qualities that they look for in a man, but not many women realize that these are only qualities they like on paper—not in person. Some women just don’t know what type of person they want and end up dating the wrong people.
This makes them look great in theory, but you’ll end up unhappy in the end even if your relationship is everything you’ve ever thought it would be.
4. You’re bored
Your man could be perfect and your life could be lining up just as you always thought it would, yet you could still be completely unhappy due to one major trigger: your boredom.
When you get into a routine in a relationship, everything could be perfect and just as you’ve always imagined it, but you could be bored of the same old things—and even him—without realizing it. So, assess your day-to-day life and decide whether or not there’s enough excitement in it.
5. You’re comparing yourself to other couples too much
This is one that hits home for many people who don’t even realize it. Many women could have perfect relationships that they would normally be happy with, but they keep comparing their life with other people’s and finding flaws where there really aren’t any.
When you compare your relationship to someone else’s and see that perhaps someone else looks happier than you, it could make you think that there’s something wrong in your relationship when there really isn’t. So, get off Instagram, turn off the romantic comedies, get off social media altogether and start appreciating the partner and life you have.
6. You’re unhappy with yourself
If you’re insecure and unhappy with who you are as a person, nobody else can make you happy no matter who they are. You have to be happy on your own before you can be truly happy in a relationship. So, work on yourself and become the best person you can be, and your relationship will add to your happiness.
7. You like the positive attention from friends more than your partner
When you’re unhappy in a relationship that seems perfect, it could have to do with the fact that everyone keeps telling you how amazing your relationship is.
If you’re someone who has your friends constantly telling you how awesome your significant other is, yet you’re still unhappy, it could be because you like that positive attention more than the person.
This is only really noticeable if you come home at the end of the day and feel unhappy with the relationship. You won’t really notice your unhappiness when you’re out and about with your friends because they’ll trick you into thinking you’re happy with him because they would be.
8. You’re settling
The worst thing a person can do is settle. Even if a man seems like ‘The One’ and has all the qualities that you desire in someone, if you’re not 100% happy in the relationship, it could be because you’re settling.
If you feel like you deserve more and want to see what else is out there, don’t stay with someone. That could be what’s contributing to your unhappiness altogether. Being with someone when you really want to go out and explore will only drag you down.
Being unhappy in a relationship defeats the purpose of even being in one! Luckily, some of the reasons you’re not satisfied are fixable. The only question remaining is: How happy are you in your relationship?